Prank War/Transcript

(Peashooter is at his bedroom) (Sunflower gets in)

Sunflower: Hey, big brother!

Peashooter: I'm seven months older than you. That pretty much doesn't count as older.

Sunflower: Anyway. What are you doing?

Peashooter: Writing a song. Hey, what rhymes with orange?

Sunflower: Pretty much nothing.

Peashooter: Hey, what about 'doorhinge'?

Sunflower: That doesn't rhyme, that's just similar.

Peashooter: Hey.

Sunflower: Why are you sayning 'hey' in every sentence?

Peashooter: Can you stand on the 'X'?

Sunflower: Nice try, Peashooter, but I'm not stupid.

Repeater: Goodmorning, siblings. (steps on the 'X')

Sunflower: Repeater, NO!

A bowl of ice cream: (falls on Repeater's hands)

Repeater: (eats it)

Sunflower: What's going on?

Peashooter and Repeater: HAPPY PRANKING DAY!

Sunflower: Happy what now?

Peashooter: Remember our great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Shootio McPeadom's Civil War story?

Sunflower: Yes?

Peashooter: When zombies came and ruled the two countries, the plants got united to fight the zombies.

Sunflower: And what does that have to do with pranks?

Peashooter: Our great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Shootio McPead-

Sunflower: (angry) I KNOW HIS NAME!!!

Peashooter: He was the plants' leader. And he figured out that pranks were the only way to beat the zombies. So, they pranked zombies hard, until plants won.

Sunflower: So?

Peashooter: That was EXACTLY 999 years ago. Same day, same month.

Sunflower: (annoyed) Oh God!

Peashooter: So, he created our family tradition called the 'Pranking Day'.

Repeater: Okay, bye! (leaves)

Sunflower: So, if I step on the 'X', I will get ice cream?

Peashooter: Pretty much.

Sunflower: (steps on the 'X')

Honey: (falls on Sunflower's head)

Sunflower: Really? Is that all you got?

Peashooter: You're right. That is such a small prank. (presses big red button on the wall that says 'DROP CHICKEN FEATHERS')

Chicken feathers: (fall on Sunflower's head) (get stuck on the honey)

Peashooter: (takes out his phone) Say 'cheese'. (takes a picture of Sunflower) But THAT isn't. And now, just to put the cherry on top of the cake.

Sunflower: Don't you DARE post it!

Peashooter: (presses 'post' button) Oops, I just did.

Sunflower: (groans angrily)

Peashooter: (typing the title of the photo) Chicken Flower. Well, bye! (leaves)

Sunflower: (groans ever more angrily)

Scene: (cuts to Blover's house)

Red Stinger: (comes in) Hey, best friend. Have you seen my cellphone? I can't find it anywhere!

Blover: Oops.

Red Stinger: What did you do?

Blover: I....melted it for my latest invention.

Red Stinger: WHAT?

Blover: You don't understand. That metal your cellphone was made. It's unique. It's the only thing that can make my machine work.

Red Stinger: You betrayed your best friend for science. Not a good sign. That can give you Oldness.

Blover: Old-what now?

Red Stinger: Oldness. It's a disease that you get if you melt your best friend's phone. Believe me! It's REAL!

Blover: Or, it's a prank to make me get you a new cellphone.

Red Stinger: It's REAL! (leaves)

Scene: (cuts to Peashooter's house)

Sunflower: Peashooter, I'm going to get you!

Peashooter: Forget about it! You suck at pranks.

Sunflower: That's not true. Who do you think taped Repeater on the wall last week?

Peashooter: Me.

Sunflower: Okay, but what about Red Stinger's phone. Who do you think stole it for an invention.

Peashooter: Blover, and that was not a prank.

Sunflower: (groans angrily)

Peashooter: Forget about it, Chicken Flower, you'll never win. (leaves)

Sunflower: MY NAME IS SUNFLOWER!!

Peashooter (voiceover): Whatever!

Later in the kitchen:

(Peashooter is eating chicken nuggets)

Sunflower: You'll pay! You'll see what I got! (steps ahead) (gets levitated in the air) Woah, what happened?

Peashooter: Levitation oil! My best prank so far! (leaves running)

Sunflower: Wait, come back! Help me get down before I p- (pukes) Too late!

Scene: (cuts to Red Stinger's house)

Bell: (rings)

Red Stinger: (opens the door) Oh! Hello there Oldver. (laugh)

Blover: That's not funny! Why do I sound like I'm 97 years old? (looks in the mirror) (panics) And why do I look like I'm 97 years old? And why did it take me 5 hours to get here from my house? I live next door!

Red Stinger: Oldness!

Blover: Stop that! I can't believe kids these days. Wait! I said something an old man would say! What's happening to me?

Red Stinger: It's the next sign of Oldness. You better buy me a cellphone before it's too late.

Blover: I won't buy you a cellphone! I don't even know what that is.

Red Stinger: (sighs) (to the audience) Well, I warned him.

Blover: There is no such thing as Oldness. (turns on the TV)

On the TV:

Zomboss: Hey, kids! I'm Dr. Funboss! Buy toys, toys, toys and TNT.

Blover: (turns off the TV) There is nothing good to watch.

Red Stinger: For the last time: OLD-NESS!!!

Blover: Say it how many times you want, but it still is not real.

Red Stinger: Fine, I warned you. (leaves the room)

Scene: (cuts to Peashooter's house)

Peashooter: Sunflower! Sunflower! I want to apologize! Sunflower! (looks down) (sees a dollar) Ha, you think I'll fall for THAT? That's the oldest trick in the book!

Sunflower (voiceover): Actually, a whoopie cushion is the oldest trick in the book, but whatever.

Peashooter: Where is your voice coming from?

Sunflower (voiceover): Our bedroom!

Peashooter: (gets in his bedroom) Sunflower! (a bucket of goop falls on his head) Really?

Sunflower: Bet you didn't think I would trick you like that, did you?

Peashooter: That's not the tradition! (takes off the bucket) The tradition is to make your own prank. Like I did!

(Sunflower's notebook explodes)

Sunflower: OK, that's enough! I give up. Just sign this contract that says that you'll never prank me ever again. Family tradition or not.

Peashooter: (takes the pen) Deal. (signs on Sunflower's face) I WIN!!!

Sunflower: How is THAT a prank?

Peashooter: Wait for it.

Sunflower: (feels a burn) AAHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!

Peashooter: Fire pen. Am I number one or what?

Sunflower: AAHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!! (gets out of the room) IT HURTS SO BAD!!!!!!!!! (falls down the stairs) My bones are broken!

Peashooter: We're plants. We don't have bones.

Scene: (cuts to Red Stinger's house)

(Peashooter, Sunflower and Wall-nut are there)

Wall-nut: What's the matter?

Red Stinger: It's about Blover. He has Oldness!

Wall-nut: Oh no! Not Oldness!

Sunflower: What's Oldness?

Peashooter: It's a rare disease tha- Nevermind! How will he cure?

Red Stinger: We need a scientist to tell us. And Blover is...well...the patient.

Wall-nut: We need to bite him.

(Everyone looks at Wall-nut strangely)

Wall-nut: My dad is a doctor, okay?

Red Stinger: (bites Blover)

Blover: What happened?

Red Stinger: Now, you believe me?

Wall-nut: You should. My dad is a doctor and he knows all diseases and Oldness is REAL!

Blover: FINE, I'LL BUY YOU THAT STUPID CELLPHONE! AS LONG AS YOU STOP SAYING THAT WORD!

Red Stinger: Deal.